Mystical Criminals

dearshooter Things have been tough for mystical fanatics lately. Take Robert Lewis Dear, the Colorado shooter who attacked a Planned Parenthood clinic with police-style weapons, killing three people. After Dear explained he was on a “pro-life” mission from God as a “warrior for the babies.” Dear has since been given free room and board as a taxpayee–possibly for life.

cunhaBrazilian Congressman Eduardo Cunha, the fanatical protestant who finagled impeachment charges against lady President Dilma Roussef, is also under several federal felony indictments. Cunha spiritually led the disorderly mobs demanding her ouster after the twice-elected lady President signed a bill allowing rape victims to have the morning-after-pill as prophylaxis against pregnancy. This is routine in countries civilized enough to have laws against rape and beatings, yet backward enough to have devout manly types going about raping girls–as in Europe. Cunha is most famous for his Swiss bank accounts containing large multiples of congressional earnings and nearly 300 priestly internet URLs, 175 of which tout “Jesus” in their character strings.

The politician (who finally resigned) and his wife–also charged with money laundering and commercial bribery–are both still at large.

But what about Buddhists? They’re healthy and peaceful, right? Well… the Aum cult–whose mystics put nerve gas in Tokyo subways 21 years ago–has turned up recently in Russia and Montenegro, but without the bags of liquid sarin. From here it looks as though biologist Richard Dawkins still has plenty of work ahead of him before the world becomes a safe place for reason, science and non-aggression.

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